Adults overcoming childhood sex baggage

For a lot of adults the past of childhood sexual abuse is a well kept secret, and part of life. But today I want to share how to completely let it go, and move on. The first step ... talking about it.

In the fight to end sexual exploitation, I've always believed that the root of the problem will always lead you to some form of a solution. For adults with baggage this could mean looking to the past for problems in a specific area, or realizing a negative reaction to intimacy. Once you take that look the side effects of childhood sexual abuse (or having sex too early) are probably obvious.

If you've been following this blog for a bit then this next thing is a known fact. Theres a good chance that abused kids will runaway to what they think is a safer environment, the streets. But there are others who are abused who might tough it out; the adults I'm referring to.

They might make it to graduation; go to college; get a good job and attempt to live a normal life despite the odds. They become successful in their career and have great friendships, but never let anyone get too close romantically. So they miss out on everything a long term relationship has to offer.

In the movie Precious, based on the novel Push, by Sapphire, comedian/actress Mo'Nique played a mentally ill mother who allowed her daughter to be molested. Around the time the movie was made, Mo'Nique spoke out about being molested by her brother at the age of seven. Lasting four years while her parents stood by in disbelief.

You then theres Queen Latifah's confession about childhood abuse. In an interview with Essence Magazine the Queen revealed being abused as a child by a teenage baby sitter that was trusted by the family. She said this:

"He violated me," ... "I never told anybody; I just buried it as deeply as I could and kept people at an arm's distance. I never really let a person get too close to me. I could have been married years ago, but I had a commitment issue." ... "When I was 22, my brother died, and I knew that I couldn't carry his death and THAT SECRET," ... "I had to get it off my chest."

Queen Latifah on the cover of Essence

Now Queen Latifah's over that hump. She's in a healthy, committed relationship with her boyfriend and his young son. Shes also looking to make a family of her own one day.

The trauma attached to sexual abuse - childhood sex abuse, just plain abuse or having sex too early - can be one of the most shameful, but how does dealing with it work? How does it affect everyone around you? How does it affect your expectations of new relationships? Who can you talk to?

"I celebrate this award with all the Precious, with all the Marys. I celebrate this award with every person thats ever been touched. Its now time to TELL, and its okay." - Mo'Nique, Golden Globe Awards, 2010

Traffick 120 - Powerlessness [UPDATE]

Question: What if a trafficked person consents, do you still call it human trafficking?

Powerlessness

Yes. Its still trafficking because the [consent] of trafficked victims becomes irrelevant. When the means of trafficking (example: coercion, luring, debt bondage etc) are used on most of these victims, they feel powerless.

But the important thing to remember is we have the power to stop this crime, or ignore it and allow it to grow.

Modern day slavery can be stopped, its just a matter of time. Victims are going to get rescued. They will be freed, they will be rehabilitated and they will heal. This will happen with or without you.

But wouldn't it feel good to help?

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral." - Paulo Freire


SOURCE:

UNODC | Powerless

The World Cup in South Africa is not a target for human trafficking ...?

 Loren Landau, Dir
of FMSP, Wits Univ,
South Africa

The article titled SA Report: World Cup Human Trafficking Warnings Exaggerated speaks for itself. But if the estimated 40,000 is too high, just how many people are being trafficked?

Loren Landau (Prof.) is the Director of the Forced Migration Studies Programme (FMSP) at Wits University in Johannesburg, South Africa. Mr. Landau seems to think exaggerating the issue leads to criminalizing people who should be protected. I always thought it was the other way around, but to get a clearer perspective on the topic at hand I've emailed Mr. Landau about one of his comments in the article.

The comment had to do with conclusions about human trafficking during the 2006 World Cup in Germany - a country whose human trafficking laws are more established and concrete than South Africa's, but where prostitution is legal.

South African doctor invents female condoms with 'teeth' to fight rape

(CNN) -- South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers was on call one night four decades ago when a devastated rape victim walked in. Her eyes were lifeless; she was like a breathing corpse.

"She looked at me and said, 'If only I had teeth down there,'" recalled Ehlers, who was a 20-year-old medical researcher at the time. "I promised her I'd do something to help people like her one day."

Forty years later, Rape-aXe was born.

Ehlers is distributing the female condoms in the various South African cities where the World Cup soccer games are taking place.

"... To

distribute 30,000 free

devices under supervision

during the World Cup."

- Dr Sonnet Ehlers

The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man's penis during penetration, Ehlers said.

Once it lodges, only a doctor can remove it -- a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest.

Chilly Powder, 32 Stitches, Work and Dignity

Sunitha Krishnan, is a super hero to the lost. Recently she has become one of my favorite communicators, and not because of her oracle ability but because of her relatability.

Sunitha is co-founder of Prajwala, an organization focused on helping victims of sex trafficking find shelter and rehabilitation. She has helped more than 3,000 women and children, from ages 3 - 40, all being victims of sexual assault. In September of 2009 after being asked to speak, Sunitha decided to speak of 3 children who were sexually assaulted. Armed with nothing but cute photographs, she was able to touch the hearts of millions. During last years talk Sunitha took time to tell her own story and talk about why she is so passionate about helping the unfortunate, leaving us all to analyze our own actions, thoughts and intentions. While infront of business, government and NGO officials Sunitha used her platform to plead for help and to offer a new way of thinking, so that others can have a new way of life.

"Don't tell me one hundred ways how you can not respond to this problem. Can you apply your mind for that one way you can respond to the problem?"

"I'm asking you, in your limited world, can you open your mind, can you open your hearts ... not as charity but as human beings that deserve all of our support." - Sunitha Krishnan

How do you know if you're addicted to porn?

If you answer yes to more than 3 of these questions, then theres a strong possibility that you're addicted to porn.

• Does your porn use feel out of your control?
• Do you have trouble controlling when you will look at porn and limiting the time you spend? Have you made unsuccessful attempts to quit?
• Do you feel anger or irritability if you are confronted about your porn use or asked to stop?
• Do you feel like there is another person or force inside of you driving you to pornography?
• Do you keep using porn despite negative consequences?
• Do you “get lost” in porn use—lose track of time; spend more time than intended; neglect work, school, relationships and other responsibilities?
• Does pornography consume your thinking? When you’re not viewing it, do you think about it and anticipate when you will indulge again?
• Is your porn use in conflict with your values and beliefs? Do you feel guilt, shame, remorse, empty and/or depressed after viewing porn?
• Do you keep your porn use a secret and fear that others might find out?
• Have you ever promised yourself that you would never use pornography again?
  

An Eternal Perspective

“You who make mention of the Lord, do not keep silent, and give Him no rest till He establishes and till He makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth.” - Isaiah 62:6-7

"We're talking about being intercessors and standing in the gap." - Bret Mavrich, Director of Abolition

Exodus Cry, an international anti-trafficking organization, sent a group of 14 to South Africa this month to help with the World Cup. Led by Blaire Pilkington, their mission is simple: outreach, initiate awareness and prayer.

In Need of Comprehensive Human Trafficking Law in South Africa

Earlier this month John Barr, of Outside the Lines, spoke with E. Benjamin Skinner and Melanie Hamman on South Africa's issues with human trafficking leading up to the World Cup.

With a number of claims that 40,000 victims would be trafficked to South Africa because of the World Cup and the government's misleading actions in handling new laws to protect the victims of sex trafficking, was South Africa's government ready to stop and prevent human trafficking?

Trafficked Girls Rescued at the World Cup

Here Tom Davis shares a moment in time. When people from around the world are getting ready to get their fill of the 2010 World Cup, South Africa's sex trade is as well.

On Monday I’m leaving with Hayden and Gideon to do ministry in South Africa and attend a few World Cup games. Children’s HopeChest is supporting several orphanage carepoints there and we’re looking at helping victims of human trafficking. Girls are being trafficked to South Africa right now at alarming rates. One of the interviews I’m doing is with the woman in this video who rescues these girls. Watch this, it’s quite disturbing. - Tom Davis, Beyond the Game

Jackie, Jasmine and a Japanese Soldier all Support Prostitution

2006 World Cup, Germany

With the World Cup being the hottest event on the planet, its no secret that South Africa's government is looking to profit from an expected 500,000 foreigners, but so is their sex trade.

More than a year ago activists informed the South African government of the concern of a growing illegal sex trade during the World Cup. Laws to protect victims and prosecute their traffickers were some recommended action steps to take in their preparation. Well a new law was never passed and with no comprehensive law in place the big question now is, "what exactly is being done about sex trafficking during the 2010 World Cup?"

After the 2006 World Cup in Germany, Jackie Selebi, South Africa's National Police Commissioner had a great idea to prepare for the influx of soccer fans and party goers. While speaking to the Parliamentary Safety and Security Committee he was quoted as saying:

From Wall Street to Back Streets

This weekend a Wall Street Journal article decided to used 3,000 words in an attempt to confuse readers about human trafficking during the 2010 World Cup.

I had the pleasure of reading an artilce this morning titled, Suspect Estimates of Sex Trafficking at the World Cup. It was filled with research and quotes about human trafficking during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, but Carl Bialik also managed to misinform readers that the 40,000 persons trafficked, during the two most recent World Cup events, are bogus claims. He seems to think its a lot less. Well Numbers Guy, as you call yourself, here are some more numbers!

Could you not buy sex when I'm getting trafficked

There has been word spread about men who buy sex since for as long as anyone can remember. The comment I heard most recently, and thought myself is, "if men knew the women they were paying to have sex with were trafficked, tricked, enslaved, and/or in danger by a pimp or trafficker, they wouldn't buy sex from these prostitutes". Well we were all wrong. A portion of an article states:

"The UK-based Poppy Project and U.S.-based Prostitution and Research Education Center teamed up to interview 103 men in London who had bought commercial sex. Of those men, 55% believed that the majority of women were lured, tricked, or trafficked into the sex industry unwillingly ..."


... and they still bought sex

"Additionally disturbing was the belief of many men that once a transaction of prostitution began, the woman no longer had a right to refuse sex."

The image to the right, while showing statistics on prostitution, link pornography to grooming tactics used by pimps. A link between the way pornography is viewed, and the viewer's image of sexual relations is expressed when someone purchases sexual services, a type of behavior that high-end escorts and call girls are not excluded from. While being abused by their pimps to stay loyal, prostitutes are also victims of the same abuse the 'porn star' is subjected to in free internet porn. What will it take to end this cycle?

HOW 2 Fight Demand step 3

real MEN don't buy GIRLS!!

Raise Awareness

The third step in combating the DEMAND of sex trafficking requires only one name: Ashton Kutcher. Earlier this month at the release of his new film, Killers, Ashton decided to make a small poster highlighting the words, "REAL MEN DON'T BUY GIRLS!!". It surprised me to see someone from Hollywood leading the fight against sex trafficking, but leave it to Ashton to be the first person to stand up and stand out! Not only is it real awareness, but its simple, easy and all of us can do it.

3.This third step allows you to be a little creative. Work with a local graphic design program at a university or college to create posters aimed at deterring individuals from purchasing sex, like the above. And even if you won't be appearing on any red carpets anytime soon, volunteer to help raise funds to print and exhibit the posters in your community. Or use some of the resources at caase.org/ to download poster designs there.

Ashton's statement is bold and entertaining (in a good way). But its also precise and direct. A perfect example to follow in raising awareness for trafficked victims everywhere.